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Week 2- The Angel and The Devil

     devil_angel

The angel and the devil.

All of the homework and exercises that have been given over the past two weeks in the MKMMA course has sent my psyche into a spin cycle. While I know the outcome of all the work will be positive, I am working overtime on mediating the internal war between my positive and negative mind. I feel like a cartoon character where I have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other and the battle between the two is quite dysfunctional. The Devil has ruled far too long as her strength is as solid as an Iron Man contestant. How the hell did I let my mind go for so long? Now the angel has appeared with new information and a new way of thinking and like anyone that is not good with change the Devil is throwing a fit, “You can not walk in here after you just up and left years ago and think that you can run the place!”

As I have always been a person to challenge myself to grow and expand as a human being I always looked at the process of change, as being an external experience. And I looked at growth, as being purely an internal experience. I have learned to go with the flow and accept external change. I know that flowing with change, and not resisting it, actually can bring you to a better and happier place.  But going through this course I feel as much as the exercises and teachings may bring on growth, I feel it is bringing on a lot more change. And like the Devil I have been blindsided by the Angel and the resistance and flow are creating backwash.

I just looked up the definition of backwash in the dictionary and I find one of the meanings to be very inspiring.

backwash (v.)(used with object) to clean out (a clogged filter) by reversing the flow of fluid.

I never really looked closely at the fact that mental change may actually be the hardest of them all. Like when I quite smoking after 13 years I just quite cold turkey and walked away like it was never an addiction to begin with. But drinking coffee has been a daily battle I would have guessed it to be the other way around for myself. But it is time to clean it all out, backwash out the negative, and let the positive flow through freely. The Angel will find her strength again while she puts plugs in her ears and continues to work overtime on designing the new Blueprint of our life. It is a marathon, not a race. PEACE.

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Published in Master Key Experience

36 Comments

  1. Hi Sara, Did you borrow my devil and angel cartoon characters by any chance? I think they have been on a few shoulders! This is like reading from my head! Thanks for putting it into words for me. LOL Keep the 2 separated and you will see the Angel be on both shoulders! Success is Your Journey and blessed to be on it with you!

    • Hahaha! Yes! Thank you for reading! I love it- angels on both shoulders!!

  2. Your writing style is like an experienced blogger, nice to read!

  3. Great blog Sara! I think you explained perfectly what we are all feeling! Getting better and better though every day!

  4. Linda Linda

    Hi Sara, thanks for connecting in. I SO appreciate your words, “It’s a marathon, not a race.” Mahalo

  5. Yes! I agree! The conflict between the “Angel” & the ” devil”. Can be huge! I’m new to this journey and laying down the ego is a new struggle. Thank you for sharing

    • Tell me about it! That damn Ego- gets in the way every time. We will conquer. I have faith! Thank you for joining this journey with me 🙂

  6. Liked reading your blog – this experience is so great to read about people striving for change – like myself. I have been on a journey regarding my health for 7 years, and now on a journey inward to help with all of the outward!

    • Thank you! Yes, it has been fun to connect with others on the same journey. Good luck on the path to a better life inside and out!

  7. Sara. a few weeks ago I would have said your words were so inspirational but after listening to the Webcam I know they are empty words 10 minutes later. What I can say and feel compelled to say is I love your visual and how your words so eloquently described how I was feeling last week. A bit more battered and bruised but still here fighting for my DMP.

    • I feel you! Some days are harder than others. This morning my old blueprint was the first thing that entered my mind when I woke up and it was not very nice. And everything started to feel hopeless again. But an old teacher years ago told me sometimes in life you take 2 steps forward and 1 step back. But you just have to keep taking the steps forward. Don’t give up! xo

  8. Very well put. I know I feel the same way. It’s a bit daunting, but I know it’s doable, and I’m excited that I am creating sustainable change and growth. I feel truly grateful and blessed! The best part is we are not alone we walk this path together. It’s an honor to be on this journey with you, Sara!

    • Same to you! I mean so many places in life we have to grow alone. I am glad I get to grow with an alliance!

  9. Thanks for the filter visual Sara. I used to clean commercial swimming pool filters and it was amazing how much gunk they could store up, and equally amazing how clean just the simple reversing of the flow could make them. Press on Press on.

  10. Great blog Sara! You are really great with words. You express what many of us feel.

  11. I really like your blogs. I am still wrestling with finding my Dharma. I wish I could hone in on my true bliss. Maybe “subby” doesn’t want me to change & grow. It is a daily struggle. Keep hope alive. Best wishes on your journey of self discovery.

    • Maybe it is more your Ego that is blocking you. Maybe don’t try so hard to find something that is really big and start small. Like some thing around you that you love and would like more time or money to do. Start small and then through that you may find something bigger. I think the 15 min a day of just sitting will become very beneficial for you. Remember this is all a process. You will find it! 🙂

  12. Such a well written blog Sara I love comparison of the Angel and the Devil your Angel is always resting on your shoulders looking for direction show her the way. 🙂

  13. Half the time I’m amazed how clear everything is and how well it works.
    The other half of the time, I’m struggling to stay on my feet.
    KNOWING all the positive that is just around the corner, makes staying on my feet a little easier

    • I think this is the first time I have ever trusted in the process of something! But conquering the negative feels like a dim light after a very long tunnel. Hang in there 🙂

  14. Thank you for sharing. You so eloquently expressed exactly what I’m experiencing and it’s so nice to know I’m not alone!

    • Thank you! I think this blog idea was genius of them. It really is nice to know we are having similar struggles and experiences 🙂

  15. I so agree! It was Divine timing for me! I have to admit I’m struggling daily to make myself do it all…ugh

    • I have trouble too. To fit everything in life and all the teachings in one day every day does get challenging. As long as we are not making excuses and doing the best that we can do we will still be doing better than the rest who are not doing any of this at all!

      • Yes I have to remember this path is rare…..my friends don’t understand, sad to see them in their little boxes.

  16. Great, I know exactly what you are talking about and I am feeling the same way! Our Angels will win this battle! Its so true that we just don’t realize how we let our minds go, thank you for being on this journey with me and enjoy the ride!

    • Thank you! It is nice to see when reading each others experiences that we are not alone. I feel so blessed to have stumbled upon this course! I am excited to see our progress over the weeks to come and where we end up. Truly Divine Timing 🙂

      • Wow exactly your right that was a beautiful post yo go girl ☺

      • I keep thinking the same thing. That i stumbled upon this course. But i think it found is through our need for it. I feel like i have awakened from sleepwalking and realized im not where i thought id be.

        • I agree completely! I am sadden and excited, but I have feel like I have wasted so much time 😛

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