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Week 6- Love Is A 4 Letter Word

mraz-coverart

Jason Mraz Cover Art

     I have been looking at the girl in the glass and I see the lies to her soul and the heartache she has endured. I shed a tear for her pain and her short comings and let her know the her life no longer needs to be the same.

I have felt through all the challenges of the first 5 weeks I was being able to overcome every obstacle and master all the tasks at hand. And just when I thought it could not get any harder it got worse. On Sunday morning when I awoke and I opened The Greatest Salesman I was so excited to start scroll 2. As I began to read the beginning my heart instantly tightened as if, on a survival instinct, it wanted burrow itself far away from the outside world. “There is no way they can ask me to love everyone! How can I possibly love everyone?” The resistance to the passage was loud, strong and somewhat painful. I instantly got an image in my mind that the Stone Buddha was actually not stone that has been covering my body, but my Stone Buddha has loyally been coveting my heart. Layers upon layers, years upon years of many hurts, failures and frustrations. They are from the loss of loved ones, untrustworthy friends, and heartbreaking lovers. The layers are built of not believing in myself and the negative thoughts of my mind. The layers are from observing the world and how we treat each other, how we treat animals and our gracious mother earth. The layers are from the thousands of years of war and unjust genocides that’s embedded in our memory cells and DNA.

The resistance took a firm hold and the old blueprint told me “We are not letting go! Not of this one! They can take our thoughts but they are not going soften our heart! We have worked too hard and too long just to break it open and allow it to be vulnerable again. We will stand our ground and not give in!”

The week went spiraling backwards. The rebel inside began her tribal dance. Every time I woke up in the morning I knew I was going to fail the day because I was not willing to look a stranger in the eye and I definitely was not going to mentally tell them that I loved them. I was not the kindest to the closest people to me. Why was I lashing out? Why was I so resistant to this passage and this week’s assignment?

Then one night before bed I really looked at the girl in the mirror and she reminded me l that you cannot truly love others until you truly love yourself first.

So I began to take baby steps the past couple of days and put the rebel aside. First thing in the morning I decided I would no longer worry about loving everyone else and all I have to worry about is loving the girl in the mirror. I will look her straight in the eye and tell her that I LOVE HER and until I truly can master that task, then and only then, I will take on loving all of mankind. So Thursday morning my new journey began and I am not judging my process or beating myself up. I am being shown that I need to truly love this girl, my girl…me…the one that looks back at me daily. The one that I have not only cheated in life, but cheated in her own self-love. And my failure this week will be my success.

Ironically when I left work tonight (Friday) I walked up to my car, looked at the dashboard and began to observe all the colored shapes that are printed on the white piece of paper. I was just about to open the door to my car and my phone started glowing. It was unlocked and randomly opened to the iTunes store. The only thing I saw when I looked down was “love” written in almost all the exact shapes and colors we have been using for class. I looked closer and realized it was Jason Mraz’s new album cover. A huge smile swept across my face and I just started to laugh. I took this as the biggest sign from the universe that I am still walking the right path! PEACE.

My new anthem for the next 5 months. I dedicate this song to all of you and all of me! 🙂

 Jason Mraz “I Won’t Give Up” from the album Love Is A Four Letter Word
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6A2cZJQADfU?rel=0]

“I Won’t Give Up” (Lyrics)

When I look into your eyes
It’s like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well, there’s so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you’ve come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?
Well, I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking upAnd when you’re needing your space
To do some navigating
I’ll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find’Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We’ve got a lot to learn
God knows we’re worth it
No, I won’t give upI don’t wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I’m here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you’re still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn’t break, we didn’t burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I’ve got, and what I’m not, and who I amI won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up, I’m still looking up.

Well, I won’t give up on us (no I’m not giving up)
God knows I’m tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We’ve got a lot to learn (we’re alive, we are loved)
God knows we’re worth it (and we’re worth it)

I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up

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Published in Master Key Experience

83 Comments

  1. Beautiful Sara! I remember so much of my life living in self loathing and did not know. Rage filled me and I had blank spots in my life. You are not alone and I find it comes it layers…there seems to be always more….More to accept, more to love, more to touch, more to reach, more to forgive. Thank God we are wholly forgiven beyond the acts we take…the more we love ourselves the more we are able to accept and to love others and I find the ease of that is greater as it no longer matters when that person can or does love us back!!
    Your post has reconnected me with more of the journey of my life and I will use this in one of my blogs as well as sharing with you. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. Bless you!!!!!

    • Thank you so much for your insight! I am like wow when did my heart become so closed and shut off. I knew that my thoughts were continually going in the wrong direction and my heart should not feel so dull. I am so thankful for this experience. I look back and I see that I have had years of rage and it is all because I was not loving myself and allowing myself to live the life my heart wants me to live. Here is to the layers of life and moving further into the light 😀

  2. It is the hardest of work to look inside and love her first. We are not taught this by society. Yet it is the most powerful gift to give yourself and the planet. You will have more to give in the end. Great work!

  3. WOW, I love Jason Mraz and this CD. Every song is fabulous and full of love and now, the shapes of his choice have new meaning. (wonder if he has
    ever done the MKMMA. 🙂 I am Pulling out my CD now. Love how you have made this connection and gifted all of us with it as well. TY

    • I wondered the same thing. I instantly thought ” did he take this course!!??” Than I just settled on that is the way the universe works- 😀 Divine Timing.

  4. Thank you for reading. I am so grateful for this community.

  5. Well said Sara. Isn’t it cool that sometimes the words we want to say have already been written. All we have to do is find them.

    • Yes, and take the time to really read them! Thank you!

  6. thats fantastic. Can we all guess what your background music is going to be?

  7. What a beautiful, heartfelt, moving blog…thank you so much for sharing so vulnerably. I

  8. Amazing post. And I was blown away by this song that happened just when you needed it — along with the shapes and colors!

    • I know. I am still in awe days later at the synchronicity!! I absolutely love when things like that happen- so affirming 🙂

  9. Thank you for sharing-I could see myself in a lot of what you wrote!

  10. Sara,
    This is very cool, I am imagining the moment you saw that picture and what a thrill must have passed through you…what an affirmation that something “right” is happening here. Very happy for you.

    • Thank you! It was such a confirmation. It was like in that instance all my frustrations from the week just dissipated.

  11. Wow! Thank you for sharing and what an awesome experience to have that song right when you needed it. I’m excited to continue following your journey!

    • Thank you so much!! Thank you for sharing this journey with me!!! 😀

  12. apart from everything else
    just looking at the shapes the way you arranged them to love – I have the ever biggest smile on my face
    all you so openly shared touched my heart. in awe

    • Thank you!! I was hoping it would touch everyone as it touched me.

  13. Awesome stuff girlfriend! Thanks for being there on this same journey. I’m hearing every word you’re saying. To the our reflections in the mirror:-)

  14. What a wonderful post Sara, and give some thought to what is happening. See all of the people you have touched, and those who took the time to post are certainly not everyone who read your blog. By sharing you have given us all a bit of your love, and I thank you for that.

  15. Sara just was so floored by your post found it so unexpected . But I just love (I know ) how that album cover popped up on your phone . I’m don’t know if you believe in God but I do and be still and know that you are loved . Hope things get easier for you ..I’m glad you found this course . All the very best to you and yours

    • Thank you so much. I am glad to be here and to be a part of this amazing and supportive community. Thank you for being on this journey!!

  16. Your expressed yourself marvelously and it hit home with me. Thanks

  17. Oh my gosh… I LOVE this was just lit on your phone… the little things that just keep popping up. And Wow… with the symbols… Great write up! Hard to reach in and then share with everyone. Fantastic!

  18. This is absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing! Thank you for opening yourself to your readers and I hope that loving yourself and others will become easier and easier as the days pass.

  19. Awesome, Awesome, Awesome. You have made a connection with the universe. Thanks and a Big Shalom to you

  20. What a great blog – you sure shared your feelings and your love with us!!

  21. So awesome Sara, if you love yourself your love will spread to others

  22. Sara you are an inspiration your words about loving yourself really hit home with me. Once you begin
    to love yourself without any hesitation then the world will follow. So proud of you!!! 🙂

  23. So lovely Sara. You are definately on the right path 🙂

  24. Layers boy do I have them. Great insights Sara. Thank you for sharing the picture I love it. Let’s get to work and peel that onion.

  25. Fantastic post Sara! I too struggled with loving myself and being my own worse critic but things started changing when I realized that I had a choice. Yes you must love yourself 1st before you can truly love others and you are the best because you are truly and wonderfully made by the Best! I will greet this day with love in my heart! You are Awesome Sara! Go for it! You are worth it!

  26. Sara, your awesome! As I started reading your post I began to laugh out loud. Its amazing how we share so much in common, although you are great at articulating your experience, much better then I. Thanks for putting words to my own uncomfortableness.

  27. Beautiful song. One of my favorites. I didn’t know about the shapes on the song cover. Thats just uncanny…. or is it. Follow that compass (your heart). Loved reading this.

    • For a second I thought “Did Jason Mraz take this course??!!” Ha!

      • Perhaps. I often wonder and notice people and their actions and wonder if they have been a part of this because im making so many connections with people and seeing things in a different light. First time i heard this song my fiancé played it for me and said this is our song.

        • That is amazing. I agree so many things are connecting!

  28. This was an excellent post! Thank you for sharing it is just what i needed. Keep moving forward!

  29. What a beautiful post. Thank you so much. I hadn’t even SEEN that LOVE shape, but I think I’m going to make one and post it around my house. My goodness. Thank you for your story and your heart to deliver it. Have an awesome day!

  30. Sara, great visuals and thoughts to back it up. The man in the mirror is enthusiastic despite the daunting task. I can achieve one of my PPNs (Legacy) by removing the dross that currently encumbers my DNA :); “Reflection” and introspection are key to defining where it is hiding. Keep it coming 🙂

  31. BRAVO Sara!
    At first I thought “how cool is she. Sara used the shapes to share Love.” Then I saw the Artist name and read on. That is diffinanely a sign. I found the guy in the glass made me a little uneasy at first.
    I thank you for your beautiful post. It has warmed my soul and brought a tear.
    Thank you for taking this journey with us.
    God Bless

  32. Thanks for sharing so eloquently your road to self-discovery. The road can be bumpy for sure, with lots of detours, but it sounds like you’ve found the truest path. I love you, Sara 🙂

  33. Wow I loved reading your blog, the way you write grabbed my attention! Fabulous story and I wish you strength and success in loving the girl in the mirror!

  34. Wow what a great post! Thank you for sharing and making it okay to be human and vulnerable. You are doing great!

  35. You are making some huge steps, thanks for sharing.

  36. Sara… Fantastic Blog.. Thanks for your honesty and persistence. And look at the gift you received and then passed to us. Thanks again..

    • Thank you for reading! This journey may be challenging at times, but it is so worth it!

  37. Thank you for being vulnerable, honest and most of all — willing to open your heart again and connect. I struggle with this one as well. Your post helped.

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